Thursday, January 13, 2011

Letting go... ugh

I've always had trouble not wearing my emotions all over my face.  So I'd like to write about something tonight that's been on my mind for a while.

Moving away is hard.  Even when you're married to the most incredible man in the world, it doesn't change how difficult it is to pack up and leave everything you've ever known and start over in a new place, not knowing anyone, getting involved in a new church, meeting new people, sometimes not understanding the language being spoken.

I miss not having friends around.  I have my moments when I get overwhelmed by this whole process and sob to my husband, who always encourages me that this is only for a time.  It will get easier.  It will get better.  I'm thankful that we no longer have to be separated 1500 miles like we had been for the majority of our relationship.

The thing is, I've never been the friend who moved away.  Growing up, I had a number of really close friends move, and that's not easy when you're just a kid dealing with that.  Not that it's that much easier when you're adult.  But for the first time, I'm the one who moved halfway across the country.  I was scared of moving partly because I didn't know which friendships would last, and which would not.

Friends are really important to me, and once I consider you a friend, I'll consider you as a friend for life.  So it definitely hurts that a lot of people haven't tried to keep in touch, while only a few have.  I guess that's when you realize who really cares about you or considers you a friend, too.  Because yeah, you can say that long distance friendships take more work, but really they don't.  I'm just a phone call away.  It's been hard, having a few friends completely cut off communication with me.  I guess I don't understand why distance must end a friendship.  I've been extremely thankful for the people who have tried to keep in touch.

I don't want to sound bitter.  I really don't.  I guess I'm just feeling sad about the loss of some friends.  I've never been good at letting go... especially letting go of people.  Moving away-- it's such an important time to have your friends there for you, because it's hard starting over in a completely new place.  I would be so lonely if not for my family and for the few friends who have been available, and of course my husband, to talk to.  So, thank you.

3 comments:

  1. Love you, lady...and looking forward to seeing you soon. :)

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  2. *hugs* That is really sad. Moving is hard enough without feeling like you've lost friends, too!

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  3. Love you too Rachel. It was so great seeing you guys again. :)

    And thanks, Emily. It really is hard enough!

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